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A Magical Life Episode 5 with Sharee Shefket- Habits

Welcome to a magical life, health, wealth and weight loss. I’m your host magic Barclay, lead practitioner at Wholistic Natural Health Australia, and number one best selling author. In this podcast, I aim to give you practical tips on how to accelerate and sustain your health, increase your financial, spiritual and emotional wealth, and to look at something that haunts many of us needlessly: weight loss. In some episodes, I’ll have guests available to give you even more tips, but in others, the floor is yours. Drop us a line at A Magical Life Podcast on Facebook and let me know what you would like to know more about. Now sit back and enjoy because it is time for you to create and truly discover a magical life.

Welcome back to A Magical Life. I’m here today with Sharee Shefket. Welcome.

Hi Magic! How are you today?

Great! Sharee, you’re the founder of Wellness and Coaching Company. Sharee is passionate about mindset and she’s been a counselor for 16 years before moving into the disability sector. What was that move like, Sharee?

It was actually a gradual process for me. I had many clients in the mental health area then I started one by one getting more clients in the disability sector and so I – it wasn’t an intentional kind of move but it was just a gradual progression. And so I went in that space and then, I love learning so I went to a total different area after that into hypnotherapy.

Fantastic. Sharee, what can you tell me that one of your other skills, PSYCH-K?

PSYCH-K is very interesting because it’s quite elusive in some ways. We don’t get a lot of information about it online. So it’s like an energy psychology. And if you know Dr. Bruce Lipton, he talks about it quite a bit. He discovered PSYCH-K, and he was able to remove his own limiting beliefs. And as soon as he removed his own limiting belief, he wrote his first book, which was he was like, trying to write for over 10 years actually. So, um, it was a quite a massive shift for him. So he will talk about PSYCH-K a lot in terms of how he helped him and, and that’s how I sort of got involved in PSYCH-K, because I was very curious about it. So I did the training and I use it a lot with my clients. It’s amazing work.

That sounds fantastic, actually. So you started your own holistic wellness clinic to help people by empowering them to heal their mind, body and soul. What’s been the biggest learning for you in doing that?

Hmm, great question. I think, for me, is a combination of all three, it’s actually part of my logo, actually, Mind Body Soul. And I think once you work on all three, you get amazing results. So it’s about acknowledging all three, I think most people will, will work on their physical health and sort of ignore that others two and I think you need to work on all three aspects.

Definitely. They all go in hand in hand, don’t they?

That’s right. Now, when you’re not running your busy clinic, you’re writing books, running retreats, and doing workshops.

What books do you have coming up?

I actually have a children’s book coming up and it’s not your ordinary children’s book. It’s actually a self development book for children. So it’s a book where the parent or the teacher will will read to that child on a regular basis, and start to reinforce some new patterns in terms of how to respond to their emotions rather than react to their emotions.

That’s fantastic. I recently wrote a blog about the seven things your kids need to hear you say, because we do pattern beliefs and phrases and actions. We are role models. And I think that book you have coming up will be so great to reinforce the more empowering thought systems.

Yeah, I found that there’s a gap in the market for that. And it’s some lovely, lovely kids books. And every little every children’s book has some type of little lesson in it. But I wanted a book with actually practice and the skill of visualization, deep breaths and learning how they would love to respond. So that way it becomes a new pathway for them. And so when they encounter the same emotional problem in their own life, they’ll know exactly what to do. Because I’ve visualized and practiced that so many times while reading a book.

That’s great.That is so cool. Now, let’s talk health for a minute here, Sharee. When we’re looking at health, we have physical, emotional and spiritual. You’re an expert in mindset. How do you see mindset affecting people’s health?

If you examine your mindset, and I mean, really, really examine it, from the time that you wake up until the time you go to sleep, and actually write every thought that you have down. You get a really good picture. about where you are in your health. It’s like a bit of a blueprint to your whole health system. So that’s what I like to do. So mindset, if you get that straight and you get that, right, so first examine all your – all your thoughts, and then rewiring them to get the right mindset for you.

Great. Now, we as coaches, we’re both results coaches. We see people with emotional blocks. How do you help people uncover those?

Sometimes people are not even aware they have an emotional block. For example, I have a lot of clients who have come to see me for chronic pain management. And, and then when I mentioned that I need to just do a bit of an exercise where we’re going to remove some emotional blocks, I kind of get this look on their face like, “What’s that got to do with my physical pain?” And I’m like, “it has a lot to do with your physical pain.” So some clients don’t even know how profound an emotional block can be on their physical health. So for me, it’s first awareness. And then working out how – where does this emotional block come from? You know, is it – is it yours to begin with? And, and obviously changing that mindset and getting rid of that emotional block all together, but then also having a different core belief system in place.

And self sabotage thinking, how do you see that in respect to emotional health?

Again, I think it’s a limiting belief problem. So self sabotage, we all do it, don’t we? We’re our worst enemy sometimes. It’s just amazing, you know? And it’s like, well, why is it? And um, I had this whole self sabotage moment a couple of days ago, when I usually have like two little pieces of chocolate, and, and I was like, “Oh, I’m gonna have another one.” And I was like, Well, you know, having this little, little argument in my mind. It’s like, “No, I don’t need another one,” like and I was like, “No, no, you deserve it.” It was just amazing what I was just saying my mind to try and sabotage myself and to eat more than I needed to eat more. So it’s it’s a very common problem and it’s about for me, it was about rebellion. I was so rebellious. Who can tell me that I can’t have more chocolate? You know, so it’s that. It’s really interesting to examine why we’re self sabotaging to begin with, is it rebellion? Is it something more deeper than that? And just really be aware of it. And I think that’s why a lot of diets don’t work because we’re restricting things, we become rebellious against that. And it’s like, I can’t have that bowl of pasta, but I just, I’m going to because it’s naughty, it’s you know. Yeah. It’s never going to work it’s not sustainable, because we all have these shadow values hidden inside us and rebelliousness is one of them. Oh, Shadow values. It’s – It’s unbelievable. It’s profound.

Totally. Says the control freak sitting in the room, quite happily putting my hand up. So shadow values are seven values that underlie your behavior, your thoughts, your patterning, and we create it from childhood. So I’ll do another blog about that and another podcast in the future. Let’s look at your top three tips for better emotional health. Off air you said the first one was facing your fears can you tell us about that?

Uh, facing your fears is about turning on the lights and exposing that Boogeyman, really. And, you know, I have young children, and I always tell them that, let’s turn on the light and face those fears. And because it’s not going to go away unless you, you face them. So it’s about first facing that fear and then examining to see, is this fear actually yours? Or is it again, a belief system that you’ve inherited? I often have clients who will have a certain fear. And I said, “Well, how did this fear start? Where did it come from?” And then they sort of look back and they go, “Oh, actually, it’s not my fear. It was my mother’s fear. I just adopted it somehow.” So it’s about facing those fears and really, unless you acknowledge it, you can’t change it. There’s nothing you can do about it. And that’s the first step for me.

So true. And rewiring your brain. How do you go about that?

Rewiring your brain is a must do for every single person. The way I explain it, it’s like you’re grabbing documents from your computer, doing a bit of edit and then you’re re-saving. That’s rewiring your brain. So, we clean out our folder system, what we should do anyway, our old files and delete and, you know, become very organized with our files and our administration work. Some people don’t even acknowledge that we can actually do this, you know, in the first place, but we can. It’s kind of like the person with their laptop full of folders all over the desktop. And then the person that actually has folders under sub folders.  It’s like, well, that’s an old file, it’s obsolete. And I go, “Why don’t you get rid of it?” You know, I don’t know. It just accumulates, you accumulate crap over the years. And that’s what happens in our minds. So it’s about okay, let’s let’s do something about these. Let’s do a big clean up here and get rid of it. It’s not serving you anymore. I so love a clean desktop. It makes sense? Why don’t you do that to your brain too? I often hear women say to me all the time, they go, “Oh, I can’t get my mind to like, shut down. I’ve got – it’s like I’ve got all these tabs open,” and I’m like, “Well, let’s do something about that. Let’s just, let’s look at these tabs. See what you want to keep, is it still relevant for you right now? If not delete it then then these tabs won’t exist. It’s like on your phone like, happens on my phone, sometimes I’m like, ugh. Well, yeah, no wonder you can’t shut your mind off. Exactly the same.

And what would be your third tip for better emotional health?

I think it’s to really, really love yourself and, and be aware that you deserve – you deserve that. You deserve – every single person is valid. Every person has a gift to share with everybody else. And you deserve to be loved. You deserve to love yourself. You deserve to be happy. I come across a lot of clients who will say, “I will invest in a pair of expensive shoes or outfits or handbags,” but they won’t invest in their own emotional health. Or they think loving themself is just going to get their nails done or having a massage. And I say, “Well, why, you know, why have you – did you even think about self care?” It’s like, it’s not gonna exist in their life? And I said, “Why is that?” And I often hear that all, “Just as long as I look good, then I’m okay.” But are you really okay? It’s like they want some type of feedback from other people, when really they need that feedback from themselves. You know, and it’s scary. So scary, if you have never done your own real self care. That’s really, really scary at first, but it’s okay. I think that’s where, you know, mental health practitioners, coaches, counselors, hypnotherapists, that’s where we come into the picture. That’s what we do, you know? It’s a shame that emotional health is secondary to a lot of other things.

Exactly. We focus so much on mental health. But that’s only one flip side of the coin. The coin has two faces. So you really have to look at the emotional center the limbic system of the body. I often talk about systems of the body and treating the body as a whole. And unless you treat the limbic system, you will get sick. As I’ve said before, hold on to anger, your liver will start telling you it’s not happy, you won’t be detoxing properly, you may get the start of cirrhosis because you’re angry about something and that compounds over so many years. So unless you control the limbic system, and really harness its power for good, it does show up in other places.

That is so true. I find that so often, especially with the chronic pain clients that I have, it’s profound. Just going back a minute to self sabotage thinking and behavior. Would you liken that to when you buy a red car and all of a sudden, you notice how many red cars are out on the street? Like, you know what you think of you attract? Because you kind of want to be right. You want to be that – again, that rebellious streak. Well, I have this limiting belief, and I want it to be right in some way. And it’s like, really, like, you know, instead of you looking for evidence to support that limiting belief, and the minute you look at and think well, the limiting belief is not serving me I need to get rid of it. And then I need to get rid of all that rebelliousness associated with that limiting belief as well, that you’re not always right. It’s not 100% true. You’re not finding proof and creating evidence.

Now, let’s touch on a very touchy subject, but it is part of this podcast. And that is weight loss. What is your main tips around weight loss?

I find weight loss an interesting area because it’s not as simplistic as people assume it is. It’s not just, okay just go on a diet, eat less and exercise. It’s not as simple as that, and I think well, again, we’re led to believe that it’s just a simple process. And everyone knows that. Everybody knows that, you know, if you eat less and exercise, everyone knows that. We don’t need to be told that; we know that. It’s bigger than that. So when people come to me for weight management, I have to look at and see, isn’t it an emotional block that they’re self soothing for? And so the eating, overeating is just a cover up for something more deeper than that? Is it just a habit that they’ve developed over the years like oh, you know, if I’ve completed a task, I will reward myself with some chocolate cake etc. Whatever their favorite food is, and I find the same with my clients who want to quit smoking. It’s like a reward system. And we need to change that obviously. Or, I have also clients who have secondary gain. And what I mean by secondary gain is this goes a lot more deeper, like I had a client many years ago who – it wasn’t the other two problems. It wasn’t that at all, it was the fact that she wanted  to lose weight. She knew she could do it. She’d done it before, but she didn’t want to lose her weight because she had been sexually assaulted when she was younger, and it was a bit of a protection thing for her and when she acknowledged that, the weight just fell off because she wasn’t afraid of facing that fear and, and realizing that it’s time to let it go. So she was creating like a fat armor to protect herself.

Exactly. And so how do you help people with that? Is it through asking questions, and if so what type of questions?

Yes, there’s a lot of empowering questions about where the beliefs come from, how’d it all start, What have they tried before? And you just see a pattern. And once you examine that pattern, then you know where you’re sort of heading and what the issues might be. Sometimes I don’t get it right. You know, sometimes you think, Okay, this is just a standard change of habit problem. And then I find later on and like I said, there’s a deeper problem like the secondary gain. So it’s a bit of a trial and error until you kind of get it right with certain clients.

That’s some pretty structural work where you are really rejigging a lot of patterns and belief systems and, and a whole lot there. That’s fantastic.

Yeah, so what I’ve also found is that some, some clients are not sure about what the problem really is. For instance, I had a client once that came to see me because they wanted to clean up their spare room. Yeah, I knew that wasn’t their real problem, but they were adamant. “That’s why I’m coming to see you. I need some motivation to clean my spare room.” It took a while for that person to acknowledge that it wasn’t about the spare room. So how did you find out what it was about? It’s really digging deep and, and like, I guess like peeling the onion, so to speak, all the onionskin until you get there and and then they have their aha moment and think, “Oh, this is what this is really about.”

Wow. That’s great. I love that. So Sharee, what’s one more thing we can give people here so that they can start to create their magical life?

Love yourself and put yourself first. You deserve it. It’s you know, it’s it’s your time. I have, I always hear clients say to me, “Oh one day one day will be my turn. You know one day I’ll put myself first, but now it’s like the husband or the kids or whatever else I have to do.” And then that time doesn’t happen it’s – it’s time to do it now. It’s time to make your health, physical and emotional and spiritual health, and I mean all three, your priority. And by doing that, you will uncover things that you never thought were possible.

Definitely through coaching, Sharee and I both studied under a couple of the same people, and through coaching we learned that point A is only point A on the map. You’ve still got all the way to point Z. And you just have to look up at the horizon and see the big picture. That’s right. That is so good to talk to you today, Sharee, it’s been very empowering, listening to your passion for for health and for mindset and uncovering those emotional blocks.

So Sharee, we can find you at www.wellnesscoachco.com.au. And also on Facebook, at Wellness Coaching Co. Do you have some other groups or things that you can offer people here?

Yes, so I have a women’s support group on Facebook called, “I don’t know how she does it? Supporting women who do too much.” So it’s basically a group for women just to be able to get some advice and vent and in a safe place. There’s also the chronic pain management again to the same type of support, And the other group is “finding your life’s purpose”. And that’s a biggie for most people about finding what are they here for, is there a high purpose here so a lots of information resources available on that Facebook group.

And where can they send you a message if they forget what these groups are? How can I get in touch with you the best?

Yes, so info@wellness coachingco.com.au. So that was info@wellnesscoachingco.com.au, send Sharee a message and if you’ve forgotten what those fabulous groups are, she’ll pop you in touch with those with the correct links. Sharee, thank you again for your time today. Thanks for coming on and I would certainly love if you would come back on. It’s been a pleasure. Thank you for having me.

So that was Sharee Shefket from the wellness coaching co. Coming up in Episode Six, you have dear old me talking about rheumatoid arthritis and inflammation. So we’ll be looking at all things inflammation, how to beat it, how to fight it, how to get on top of it, and really what inflammation is, so I look forward to seeing you in Episode Six of A Magical Life. Thanks for listening today. Please subscribe to hear future episodes, leave a review and share this podcast. You can follow us on Facebook at A Magical Life Podcast or at WholisticNaturalHealthAustralia that’s wholistic with a W. You can find us on Instagram at wholisticnaturalhealth or at WWW dot wholistic natural health.com.au. That’s where you’ll access all sorts of articles, freebies, and more.

 

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